MOTOR LILAC

[Intro | single warm glassy pad; kick and clean bass enter slowly]
[Verse 1]
One bag on the floor
Zipper half-undone
The hallway smells like someone who already won
Last light through the blinds
Striping the bare wall
I don't need the room to answer
I got the call
[Chorus]
This is everything I'm taking
This is all I came with, too
Nothing broken, nothing wasted
Just the door, and what comes through
[Verse 2]
Sound of the lock is clean
Sharper than I thought
Light outside is that flat grey you can't be caught
Handle still warm in my hand
Bag pulls at my shoulder
I don't know the name of this feeling
Just that I'm older
[Chorus]
This is everything I'm taking
This is all I came with, too
Nothing broken, nothing wasted
Just the door, and what comes through
[Bridge | unguarded, nearly whispered]
I stood there a second
I don't know why
The window had already gone dark
The room didn't say goodbye
And I didn't ask it to
[Chorus]
This is everything I'm taking
This is all I came with, too
Nothing broken, nothing wasted
Just the door, and what comes through
[Instrumental Break | the pad narrows to two notes; beat leaves before the last vocal]
[Final Hook | all harmony drops to intimate lead]
Just the door
And what comes through
[Outro | pad alone decays after beat stops]
[End]

[Intro | Rhodes bell-chord, bass then restrained hats]
[Verse 1]
I want to sleep through the night
No sounds to decode
Door locked, no listening
Just rest that I'm owed
I want to eat without counting
Sit down, take my time
No math at the table
Just food and it's mine
[Chorus]
Hey, tomorrow me
Are you doing alright
Do you sleep when it's quiet
Do you stay through the night
Hey, tomorrow me
I'm still building your road
Hold on a little longer
I'm coming home
[Verse 2]
I want to call someone back
Without dreading their voice
Pick up on the first ring
Like it's already a choice
I want to walk through a room
And not clock every exit
Let my shoulders come down
Stop bracing, just rest it
[Chorus]
Hey, tomorrow me
Are you doing alright
Do you sleep when it's quiet
Do you stay through the night
Hey, tomorrow me
I'm still building your road
Hold on a little longer
I'm coming home
[Instrumental Break | Rhodes chord rings over one bass note as the hats fall away]
[Bridge | spoken; Rhodes reduces to single notes]
I'm not asking for much
Just the ordinary things
A Wednesday that feels like nothing
A phone call that means nothing
Just ordinary things
[Chorus]
Hey, tomorrow me
Are you doing alright
Do you sleep when it's quiet
Do you stay through the night
Hey, tomorrow me
I'm still building your road
Hold on a little longer
I'm coming home
[Outro]
I'm coming home, I'm coming home
[End]

[Intro | hazy synth alone; bass, then fast hats enter]
[Verse 1]
Mr. Hassan's place got a fence around it now
Orange notice stapled to the door
Six months ago he was sweeping out front
Now the city got his number in a drawer
I drove past twice
Couldn't stop, couldn't look straight
The corner where we used to cut through
They poured new concrete over it
[Chorus]
I cracked the shell
Did that make me part of it
I cracked the shell
Did that make me part of it
[Verse 2]
The Apex on Linwood, boarded, then gone
Nothing there now but a hoarding and a name
Some developer's vision in big block letters
Looks nothing like the block I came from
Mrs. Okafor moved to her daughter's
Third time in four years
I wrote the song that put me on the map
In the same zip code that pushed her out of hers
[Chorus]
I cracked the shell
Did that make me part of it
I cracked the shell
Did that make me part of it
[Bridge | drums drop; bass and pad only]
I remember that building before the scaffolding
Before the scaffolding, before the name
I remember Hassan counting back change
And the way the light fell on Linwood in November
I don't know where I'm standing in all of this
I don't know whose side my ambition served
Maybe both, maybe neither
Maybe that's the thing I can't afford to answer
[Outro | heavy half-time beat returns, then cuts]
I cracked the shell
Did that make me
I cracked the shell
[End]

[Intro | gritty guitar riff with full-density programmed drums]
[Hook]
Tally the weight, every one
Tally the weight, they don't lie
Tally the weight, I'm still here
Tally the weight, still alive
[Verse 1]
Left shoulder, the fall off the chain-link fence
Three inches of scar where I caught the descent
Fifteen, broke a tooth on the bathroom tile
Body kept the record like it knew I'd need the file
Knuckles still rise where the cold used to settle in
Skin remembers every night I slept in
That hunger don't forget, it just moves a different way
[Hook]
Tally the weight, every one
Tally the weight, they don't lie
Tally the weight, I'm still here
Tally the weight, still alive
[Verse 2]
Back of the jaw where the wisdom came in wrong
No dentist, no money, just learned to move along
Rib I never got checked, healed a half-inch off
Body did the math when I couldn't pay the cost
Palms read like a ledger of every surface held
Chain-link, brick, cold pipe when the winter swelled
Every mark a date, every date a line I crossed in time
[Instrumental Break | guitar holds; drums reduce to kick]
[Bridge | almost whispered]
I used to want to trade it
Smooth skin, clean slate, erase it
But the body doesn't mourn what it survived
It just carries it, quiet, classified
[Hook]
Tally the weight, every one
Tally the weight, they don't lie
Tally the weight, I'm still here
Tally the weight, still alive
[Outro]
Still alive, still alive
[End]

[Intro | fingerpicked guitar; a single kick enters slowly]
[Verse 1]
You were nine when I packed the bag
Stood there in your socks beside the door
I said I'd be back by Christmas
We both knew what that was worth
Your birthday came, I sent a card
Thirty dollars and a check mark
Mom said you put it on the dresser
You didn't cash it for a month
[Chorus]
I was reaching for the bones of something true
You were just a kid watching me go
I was reaching for the bones of something true
You were just a kid watching me go
[Verse 2]
I called you on a Tuesday once
You answered but you didn't talk much
I filled the quiet with excuses
You said okay and hung up soft
There's a photo from your sixth grade play
Somebody else's dad is clapping
You were already looking somewhere else
I got the picture three days later
[Chorus]
I was reaching for the bones of something true
You were just a kid watching me go
I was reaching for the bones of something true
You were just a kid watching me go
[Bridge | guitar alone; kick leaves]
I don't know what you told yourself
When you stopped asking when I'm coming
I don't know what face you made
When my name stopped being something
[Chorus]
I was reaching for the bones of something true
You were just a kid watching me go
I was reaching for the bones of something true
You were just a kid watching me go
[Instrumental Break | fingerpicked guitar answers the final confession with an unfinished cadence]
[Outro | fingerpicked guitar resolves alone]
[End]

[Intro | warm driving bass alone for four bars]
[Verse 1]
Your number still saves under your government name
I scroll past it like I don't know what that means
You sent a photo, new city, new coat, new frame
I double-tapped it and put the phone face down on my knee
You left the Jordans you outgrew under my bed
Size ten, crease in the toe where you used to crease them hard
I don't move 'em, I don't know why I don't move 'em
Moving 'em means something I can't say out loud
[Chorus]
I'm proud of you, damn, I'm proud of you
It lives right here, won't go down, won't go quiet
I'm proud of you, yeah, I'm proud of you
But the zip code stayed the same and I'm the one who knows
[Instrumental Break | bass states the proud motif without drums; hats return on the last beat]
[Verse 2]
Last time we talked, you said it's different out here
I said yeah I hear you, and I heard everything
You used to know the name of everybody's fear
Now you speak in rooms I can't imagine entering
I kept the text where you said you'd bring me with you
Screenshot, folder, unnamed
I ain't mad, I never said I'm mad
I'm just standing in the same November we started from
[Chorus]
I'm proud of you, damn, I'm proud of you
It lives right here, won't go down, won't go quiet
I'm proud of you, yeah, I'm proud of you
But the zip code stayed the same and I'm the one who knows
[Bridge | bass and a sparse hat only]
You made it out, I know you made it out
And I would never call that wrong
But who was I standing right beside you
When none of this was certain, when nothing was a song
I hold that, I hold all of that
[Chorus]
I'm proud of you, damn, I'm proud of you
It lives right here, won't go down, won't go quiet
I'm proud of you, yeah, I'm proud of you
But the zip code stayed the same and I'm the one who knows
[Outro | bass returns alone]
[End]

[Intro | luminous synth, bass answer, then fast programmed drums]
[Verse 1]
You said meet me at Kedzie
Take the blue line, not the green
Thirty-seven minutes if the train runs clean
I counted every stop
Knew the order by the sound
The doors, the gap, the platform
How the cold comes off the ground
[Chorus]
Kedzie, 11:47
That's all we ever get
Kedzie, 11:47
A city with no room for this
Kedzie, 11:47
I'm standing in the almost-dark
Kedzie, 11:47
[Verse 2]
Your cousin's place on Sawyer
Third floor, broken heat
We'd eat whatever wasn't frozen
And forget the whole week
The city kept its schedule
Bus at six, alarm at five
We were making a religion
Out of staying alive
[Chorus]
Kedzie, 11:47
That's all we ever get
Kedzie, 11:47
A city with no room for this
Kedzie, 11:47
I'm standing in the almost-dark
Kedzie, 11:47
[Instrumental Break | station-call synth stretches over the melodic bass; kick waits]
[Bridge | harmonies contract to one voice]
The platform light is yellow-white
You text me you're delayed
I watch the train come through from Harlem
Four cars, two minutes late
I don't go in
I wait
[Chorus]
Kedzie, 11:47
That's all we ever get
Kedzie, 11:47
A city with no room for this
Kedzie, 11:47
I'm standing in the almost-dark
Kedzie, 11:47
[Outro]
Kedzie, Kedzie, 11:47
[End]

[Intro | melodic bass first; fast hats enter; pads breathe wide]
[Verse 1]
Somebody left the door to the roof cracked
Brought a speaker up, nobody looking back
City underneath us, all that static glow
The weight just gone, I don't know where it went
Kevin passing something, laughing at the sky
Not thinking about tomorrow, wasn't asking why
[Chorus]
We had one hour, borrowed from the dark
Everybody shining, everybody sharp
One hour, nothing owed, nothing yet
Just rooftop air and how good it felt
[Verse 2]
Someone turned it up, the bass came through the floor
Damira dancing by the ledge, arms out, I swore
She had her eyes closed, chin up, unafraid
I caught that feeling, held it, watched it fade
Two blocks over a siren cut the dark
Nobody said a word, but everybody felt it park
[Chorus]
We had one hour, borrowed from the dark
Everybody shining, everybody sharp
One hour, nothing owed, nothing yet
Just rooftop air and how good it felt
[Instrumental Break | bass carries the hook; hats thin to one pattern]
[Bridge]
Phone buzzed in my pocket, didn't look
Kevin's jaw went tight, that was the whole book
All that open sky
And I'm already back down
Smiling at myself
For thinking we were found
[Chorus]
We had one hour, borrowed from the dark
Everybody shining, everybody sharp
One hour, nothing owed, nothing yet
Just rooftop air and how good it felt
[Outro | bass hook alone as pads retreat]
[End]

[Intro | offbeat bit-crushed stab, then glitch hats and hard kick]
[Chorus]
You held my eyes and didn't flinch
Said I didn't have a case
Said come back in thirty days
I got the receipts on the table
You held my eyes and didn't flinch
Said I didn't have a case
Said come back in thirty days
I got the receipts on the table
[Verse 1]
March, third floor, you and your clipboard
Telling me the lease was up, I heard every word
Your pen didn't move when I showed you the dates
You just leaned back in your chair, said appreciate
I watched your eyes go somewhere past my shoulder
The thing I didn't say sat right here getting colder
I said thank you, I said thank you, I said thank you
And I meant none of it, I meant none of it
[Chorus]
You held my eyes and didn't flinch
Said I didn't have a case
Said come back in thirty days
I got the receipts on the table
You held my eyes and didn't flinch
Said I didn't have a case
Said come back in thirty days
I got the receipts on the table
[Verse 2]
You called it a courtesy notice, I called it a threat
You called it standard procedure, I called it a debt
Fifteen months of rent stubs, all in a folder
You slid them back to me, didn't even look over
I watched your hand flat on the desk
I watched your hand, and I didn't touch anything
I said yes sir, I said yes sir
[Bridge | spoken, dry]
You know what it costs to say yes sir to somebody who's already decided?
You don't
And I'm not going to tell you
But I'm still here
And the folder's still open
[Chorus]
You held my eyes and didn't flinch
Said I didn't have a case
Said come back in thirty days
I got the receipts on the table
You held my eyes and didn't flinch
Said I didn't have a case
Said come back in thirty days
I got the receipts on the table
[Outro | stab repeats, drums and bass stop together]
[End]

[Intro | granular synth swirls; dense hats and kick cut in]
[Verse 1]
December, east side, parking structure, level three
Sleeping bag inside a cart beside the stairwell, out of sight
Set my phone alarm for five so I was gone before the light
Nobody clocked me
Bought a dollar coffee, used the bathroom, changed my shirt
Went to school like nothing, nodded when they asked me how things were
Smiled and said I'm good, I'm straight, I got it
Nobody clocked me
[Chorus]
Nobody clocked me
Out here holding everything and they don't see
Nobody clocked me
Shivered through the night but showed up clean
Nobody clocked me
Nobody clocked me
[Instrumental Break | granular lead fragments into a one-bar bass rest; hats keep time]
[Verse 2]
Friday I had four dollars and a half-bag of chips
Said I wasn't hungry, watched 'em eat, kept my grip
Made a joke about the food and they laughed
Nobody clocked me
Weekend was the hardest, nowhere warm to be
Walked the Meijer for an hour just to stay from the cold
Pretended I was shopping, picked things up and put them down
Nobody clocked me
[Chorus]
Nobody clocked me
Out here holding everything and they don't see
Nobody clocked me
Shivered through the night but showed up clean
Nobody clocked me
Nobody clocked me
[Bridge | spoken; reverb stripped]
I know what I carried
I know what it cost to look like nothing was wrong
And I carried it
Every single day
[Chorus]
Nobody clocked me
Out here holding everything and they don't see
Nobody clocked me
Shivered through the night but showed up clean
Nobody clocked me
Nobody clocked me
[Outro]
Nobody clocked me
Nobody clocked me
[End]

[Intro | clean guitar riff bends at the top; kick arrives behind it]
[Verse 1]
She's up before the building wakes
Keys on the hook, thermos by the sink
Same coat she's had since I was nine
Never made a thing of it, never said a word
Floor creak past my door at six
I'd hear her moving in the dark
Radiator knocking twice
That small apartment, every sound with heart
[Chorus]
She stayed, she didn't fold
She didn't fold
Just moved through every morning
Cold to cold
And I got her hands, I got her pace
Never asked for either one
But here I am
[Verse 2]
I watched her iron the collar straight
Twenty minutes for a job that didn't care
She'd pack a lunch, she'd check the time
The kind of discipline that doesn't know it's there
We didn't name what we were carrying
But she'd touch my shoulder passing through
That was everything
[Chorus]
She stayed, she didn't fold
She didn't fold
Just moved through every morning
Cold to cold
And I got her hands, I got her pace
Never asked for either one
But here I am
[Bridge | harmonies leave; guitar holds one note]
I do the same thing now
Up before I have to be
Move quiet through the room
Must've been from watching her
[Chorus]
She stayed, she didn't fold
She didn't fold
Just moved through every morning
Cold to cold
And I got her hands, I got her pace
Never asked for either one
But here I am
[Outro | guitar repeats while kick and hats thin]
[End]

[Intro | glassy pad alone; sub enters late, then a single hat tick]
[Hook]
Fourteenth and Ash still got the same crack in the concrete
Fourteenth and Ash, I know every inch of this street
[Verse 1]
Single bulb above the corner store been buzzing since I was nine
I used to count the seconds till it flickered like it was counting down mine
Pavement holds the cold a little longer here than anywhere else I know
Three in the morning, nobody coming, nobody watching me go
[Hook]
Fourteenth and Ash still got the same crack in the concrete
Fourteenth and Ash, I know every inch of this street
[Verse 2]
Red door on Hendricks still got my height marked sixth grade, a pencil line
Somebody else's kids inside now laughing through a door that used to be mine
I stood here so long I became the dark, became the broken gate
Then something quiet cracked open in my chest, too still for anger, too awake for faith
[Hook]
Fourteenth and Ash still got the same crack in the concrete
Fourteenth and Ash, I know every inch of this street
[Bridge | close, nearly spoken]
I'm not leaving angry, not leaving proud
Just standing in the last moment before I say it out loud
[Hook]
Fourteenth and Ash still got the same crack in the concrete
Fourteenth and Ash
[Outro | sub leaves first; pad and one hat tick remain]
[End]